HHMI Newsgroup Archives

From  Sheila A Crawford
To:      heb_roots_chr@hebroots.org
Subject: Doughboy Tragedy


This important news just breaking..................


A veteran Pillsbury spokesman informed us that The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly.  He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.  Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and the Hostess Twinkies.

The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.  Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers.

He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes; still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough.  They have two children and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.


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From:          Rhonda Steiner
To:               heb_roots_chr@hebroots.org
Subject:      New School Prayer

New School Prayer.....

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule.
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple or orange or green,
That's no offense, it's the freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise,
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the State.
We're allowed to cuss & dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues & cheeks.
They've outlawed guns; but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the unwed daddy, our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.
We can get our condoms, & birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires & totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No Word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot,
My soul please take.

Author Unknown

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