HHMI Newsgroup Archives

From: Sheila A Crawford
To:     heb_roots_chr@hebroots.org
Subject: Christian Football


We can always use some humor, but I wish it weren't that
true.........Have a happy day.

Christian Football



Quarterback Sneak: Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play: What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Halftime: The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to
leave.

Benchwarmer: Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything
but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion: Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain)
during the service.

Staying in the Pocket: What happens to a lot of money that should be given
to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning: The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over
and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay: The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's
illustrations.

Sudden Death: What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the
preacher goes "overtime".

Trap: You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run: Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guests or
fellow members.

Flex Defense: The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon
to affect your life.

Halfback Option: The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for
the evening service.

Blitz: The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.


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