Subject: Humor: Golfing joke
Date: Mon, 2 Mar 1998 23:03:29 +0000
To: "Hebraic Heritage Newsgroup"<heb_roots_chr@geocities.com>

From:          Jason Bohn
To:                heb_roots_chr@mail.geocities.com
Subject:      Golfing joke


    Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day.  Moses
pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the Fairway  but 
rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, 
the water parted, and the ball rolled to the other side safe and sound.

  Next, Jesus steps up to the tee and hits a nice long drive directly
toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and
kind of hovered over the water. Jesus walked out onto the pond and chipped 
the ball up onto the green.

  The third guy gets up and randomly whacks the ball out over the fence
and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces off a truck  and
hits a nearby tree. From there it bounces onto the roof of a  nearby shack 
and rolls down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right
toward the pond. On the way to the pond, it  hits a little stone, which
bounces it out over the water and onto a lily pad, where it rested
quietly.

  Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched
the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down, grabbed the frog
and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog dropped the ball,
which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole in one.

  Moses then turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad!".

************************************************************************

From:          Rhonda Steiner 
To:                heb_roots_chr@mail.geocities.com
Subject:       Did Jesus Use A Modem?

Subject: Poem: Did Jesus use a Modem?

Did Jesus use a modem,
At the Sermon on the Mount?
Did He ever try a broadcast fax,
To send His message out?
Did the disciples carry beepers,
As they went about their route?
Did Jesus use a modem,
At the Sermon on the Mount?

Did Paul use a Laptop,
With lots of RAM and ROM?
Were his letters posted on a BBS,
At Paul.Rome.Com?
Did the man from Macedonia,
Send an E-mail saying "Come?"
Did Paul use a Laptop,
With lots of RAM and ROM?

Did Moses use a joystick,
At the parting of the Sea?
And a Satellite Guidance Tracking System,
To show him where to be?
Did he write the law on tablets,
Or are they really on CD?
Did Moses use a joystick,
At the parting of the Sea?

Did Jesus really die for us,
One day upon a tree?
Or was it just a Hologram,
Or Technical Wizardry?
Can you download the Live Action Video Clip,
To play on your PC?
Did Jesus really die for us,
One day upon a tree?

Have the wonders of this modern age,
Made you question what is true?
How a single man, in a simple time,
Could offer life anew?
How a sinless life, a cruel death,
Then a glorious life again,
Could offer more to a desperate world,
Than all the inventions of man?

If in your life, the voice of God,
Is sometimes hard to hear.
With other voices calling,
His doesn't touch your ear.
Then set aside your laptop and modem,
And all your fancy gear.
And open your Bible, open your heart,
And let your Father draw near.

********************************************************************