Subject: Watch out for these Viruses !!!
Date:    Thu, 14 May 1998 00:27:29 +0000
To:      "Hebraic Heritage Newsgroup"<heb_roots_chr@geocities.com>

From     Tom Holeman 
To:      heb_roots_chr@geocities.com
Subject: Watch out for these Viruses !!!!


It has come to our attention that some of you don't have
the proper McAfee updates installed, so watch out for the following:'

Woody Allen Virus
bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Tonya Harding Virus
turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

Paul Revere Virus
warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\

Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus
instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1 Meg

Ollie North Virus
plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files

Joey Buttafuaco Virus
only attacks minor files

Michael Jackson Virus
preys on child processes

Ronald Reagan Virus
saves your data, but forgets where it's stored

Jane Fonda Virus
attacks your hard drive's FAT

Oprah Winfrey virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and
then slowly expands 300MB

AT&T Virus
Every three minutes it tells you what great service
you are getting.

MCI Virus
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're
paying too much for the AT&T virus

Politically Correct Virus
Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to
itself as an "electronic microorganism."

Ross Perot Virus
Activates every component in your system, just
before the whole darn thing quits

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back

Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says
everything is fine

Federal Bureaucrat Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
the most important part of your computer

Adam and Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer

Congressional Virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for
the problem

Congressional Virus #2
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously
but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything

Airline Virus
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore

Freudian Virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own
motherboard. Or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's
hard drive

PBS Virus
Your computer stops every few minutes toask for money

Jimmy Hoffa Virus
Your programs can never be found again

LAPD Virus
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on
your PC and erases them in "self-defense."

O.J. Virus
It claims that it did not, could not and would not
delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it

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