Subject: Humor: What if God had voice mail?
Date:    Fri, 19 Jun 1998 00:01:57 +0000
To:      "Hebraic Heritage Newsgroup"<heb_roots_chr@geocities.com>

From:      Tom Holeman
To:        heb_roots_chr@geocities.com
Subject:   What if God had voice mai?


WHAT IF GOD HAD VOICE MAIL? 

We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern
life.  But you may have wondered, What if God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing this..."Thank you for calling My Father's House.
Please select one of the following options: 

Press 1 for requests. 
Press 2 for thanksgiving. 
Press 3 for complaints. 
Press 4 for all other inquiries."

What if God used the familiar excuse..."All the angels are helping other
customers right now.  Please stay on the line.  Your call will be answered in
the order it was received."

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call on God in prayer?

"If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 1.  For Michael, press 2.  For a
directory of other angels, press 3.  If you 'd like to hear King David sing a
Psalm while you're on hold, press 4.  To find out if a loved one has been
assigned to heaven, enter his or her social security number.  For reservations
at My Father's House, press the letters J-O-H-N and then 3-1-6.  For answers
to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, and where Noah's
ark is, please wait until you arrive here."

"Our computers show that you have already called once today.  Please hang up
and try again tomorrow."

"This office is closed for the weekend.  Please call again on Monday after
9:00 A.M." 

    But, praise God for the truth of Hebrew 4:14-16:

"Seeing then that we have a great high priest that is passed into the 
heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For 
we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings 
of our infirminities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, 
yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly into the throne of 
grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace in help in time of 
need"

     No, God does not have voice mail. We have direct communications 
with the Lord of glory to find help in our time of need!

************************************************************************