From:          Rhonda Steiner
To:               heb_roots_chr@geocities.com
Subject:       Joke: Forrest Gump and heaven


                          Heavenly Entrance Exam

The day finally arrived:  Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself.  The gates are
closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you.  We
have heard a lot about you.  I must inform you that the place is filling up
fast, and we've been administering an entrance exam for everyone.  The
tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into
Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter.  I was
looking forward to this.  Nobody ever told me about any entrance
exams Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test
as it was."

Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest.  But, the test I have has
only three questions.  Here is the first:  What days of the week begin with
the letter 'T'?  Second, how many seconds are there in a year?  Third,
what is God's first name?"

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. Forrest returns the next
day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to
think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin
with the letter 'T'?  Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow.

The saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaims, "Forrest!  That's not
what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't
specify, so I give you credit for that answer."  "How about the next
one?" says Saint Peter, "How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest.  "But, I thunk and thunk about
that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve!  Twelve!  Forrest, how could you
come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve:  January second, February
second,  March second......."

"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter.  "I see where you're going with it.
And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.
I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question." says Saint Peter, "Can
you tell me God's first name?"

Forrest says, "Well, shore, I know God's first name.  Everybody knows
it. It's Howard."

"Howard?!" asks Saint Peter.  "What makes you think it's Howard?!"

Forrest answers, "It's in the prayer."
"The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?"

"You know, The Lord's Prayer," responds Forrest:
"Our Father, which art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."

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