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To: Hebraic Heritage Newsgroup <heb_roots_chr@geocities.com>, Hebraic Heritage Newsgroup 2 <heb_roots_chr@geocities.com>
Subject: Bible Humor...
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 15:54:39 -0800
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From: Mayim Hayim Ministries
To: heb_roots_chr@geocities.com
Subject: Bible Humor...

BIBLE HUMOR

1. Who was the greatest financer in the Bible?
A. Noah-he was floating his stock while everyone else was in
liquidation.
2. Who was the greatest female financer in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter-she went down to the bank of the Nile
and drew out a little prophet.
3. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.
4. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A. Nebuchadnezzar-he was on grass for seven years.
5. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
B. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
C. A Honda-because the apostles were all in one Accord.
D. II Cor. 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen
Beetle. "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond
movement."
6. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson-he brought the house down.
7. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second,
Cain struck
out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the
Angels were rained out.
8. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.
9. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were
kicked out?
A. They raised Cain.
10. What excuse did Adam give his children as to why he no longer lived
in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
11. The ark was built three stories high and the top story had a window
to let light in. But, how did they get light to the bottom two
stories?
A. They used floodlights.
12. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David-he rocked Goliath to sleep.
13. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.
14. If Goliath was resurrected, would you want to tell him the joke
about David and Goliath?
A. No, he already fell for it once.
15. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
16. What is the best way to get to heaven?
A. Turn right and go straight.
17. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the
Bible?
A. Moses-he broke all 10 Commandments at once.
18. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan-the banks were always
overflowing.
19. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
A. Because in Job 16:12, 14, 16 we read: "I had come to be at
ease,
but he proceeded to shake me up; and he grabbed me by the back
of the neck and proceeded to smash me."
20. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
21. What is the first recorded case of constipation in the Bible?
A. It's in Kings, where it says David sat on the throne for
forty years.
22. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
23. Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A. He only had two worms!

********************************************************************

To educate, train and equip for study both the Jew and
Non-Jew in the Rich Hebraic Heritage of our Faith.

Please visit the Hebraic Roots Global Network
Web Site located at:

http://www.hebroots.org/

1999 Feast of Tabernacles Celebration
and
Hebraic Roots of Christianity Conference

September 24 - October 3, 1999
Ocean Shores, Washington

"... the fifteenth day of this seventh month shall be
the feast of tabernacles for seven days unto the Lord ...
and you shall keep it a feast unto the Lord seven days
in the year. It shall be a statute FOREVER in your
generations: you shall celebrate it in the seventh month."
(Leviticus 23:34,41)

Plan NOW to attend. Experience the JOY of celebrating the
Feast of Tabernacles while hearing some of the BEST teachers
and leaders of the Hebraic Roots of Christianity. Speakers
include:

Dr Brad Young .... Gospel Research Foundation
Randy Fenton .... Potter's Clay Ministries
Dr John D. Garr .. Restoration Foundation
Ken & Lenore Mullican ... HaKesher Ministries
Doug & George Dolly ..... Messianic Congregation Leaders
Dean Wheelock .......... Hebrew Roots Ministries
Eddie Chumney .......... Hebraic Heritage Ministries Int'l
Robert Somerville ....... Awareness Ministries
Steven Berkowitz ....... Hineni Ministries Int'l
Dr. Danny Ben-Gigi ...... Hebrew Language Instructor

Our target for 1999 is 500 attendees.

The Feast of Tabernacles at Ocean Shores is a non-denominational,
non-sectarian event sponsored by Christian Renewal Ministries
International (CRMI). Attendance is open to all. There is no
conference registration fee and no fee to attend workshops and
seminar's during the festival celebration. It is paid for entirely by
donations to CRMI. All contributions, to CRMI, pay for this event
because our staff are all volunteers. Hotel discounts are available.

More information about the 1999 Feast of Tabernacles at Ocean Shores,
Washington is available at: http://www.Shalom-CRMI.org/html/ftos.htm

E-mail: Rick@shalom-crmi.org
Phone: 1-800-333-5208

P.S. Since CRMI provide's airfare and accomodations for our guest
speakers our expenses are quite high. If you would like to help us in
this effort you can send a tax-deductible donation to:

CRMI
P.O. Box 111
Auburn, WA 97071-0111