HHMI Newsgroup Archives

Subject:  Death and Mourning
Date:     Wed, 4 Dec 1996 09:33:39 +0000
From:     heb_roots_chr@mail.geocities.com
Reply-To: heb_roots_chr@geocities.com
To:       "Hebraic Heritage Newsgroup"<heb_roots_chr@geocities.com>


Subject:       Death and Mourning

    Recenty, a member of our newsgroup wrote to the ministry
regarding the Jewish way in Death and Mourning. In the past year, the
wife and son of this individual died in a tragic car wreck. He asked
regarding the Jewish way in Death and Mourning. Perhaps other members
of the newsgroup have experienced the death of a loved one in the
past year. If so, you may be interested in understanding our Jewish
Roots regarding the practice of death and mourning.

 Below is his note:

I am interested in studying Jewish customs & traditions concerning
death, grief, and mourning.

My wife of 20 years marriage died April 27, 1996 as a result of a car
accident & my 18 yr. old son died July 1, 1996 after being in a coma
due to the same accident.  I am not looking for pity, but the Lord has
told me to study these subjects to help me to heal.  God has truly
been merciful and good to me since their deaths and I am so glad I
know Him as my Lord and Savior.

I have already found great comfort through God's Word and His Spirit
and I am seeing His goodness in my life everyday.  I especially have
found Isaiah 61:1-2 to have become more real and I believe He has a
work for me to do in helping to "bind up the brokenhearted" after I
get my broken-heart healed. I would greatly appreciate any help you
could provide me in researching this subject.

>From Cheryle Holeman (HaY'Did Ministries):

Friend, I cannot imagine what you have been through this
year. The strength that you have found can only come from HIM. Eddie
forwarded your request for information to me. Let me say that I am sorry
for your double loss. But I rejoice in the work that HE is doing in you!
Over this past sabbath I was walking through our house (also our office)
and the Lord spoke to me to put together some information on mourning
and death to post on our homesite for those that might need it. I looked
in my mail and found an item that very day from our friends in Oregon,
and thought, "This will comfort someone that I don't even know." I filed
it close at hand.

Then when Eddie called and told me about your heart, I knew that I
needed one more thing, so I emailed Rabbi Othniel
and asked him to email it to me. He also sends his condolences and will
be sending me another item to post with all of these things. May we
dedicate the page on the internet to your wife and son with the dates of
their deaths? In Judaism each sabbath you would be comforted by these
words, and then on the anniversary of their death you would light their
memorial candle and say another prayer. I am enclosing both in English.

This is the Kaddish that is said at the funeral and on each sabbath:
(Note: This is not a prayer for the dead, but a hymn of praise to G-d. )

May His Great Name be blessed forever and forever eternally. Blessed and
praised, glorified and exalted,  extolled and honored, adored and lauded
be the name of the Holy One, blessed be HE, who is high above, far above
all blessings and hymns and praises and consolations which are spoken in
the world, and say. Amen.

May there be great peace from heaven and life for us and for all Israel,
and say. Amen. He who makes peace in the heavenly realms, may HE make
peace for us and for all Is real, and say. Amen.

This is the memorial prayer that would be said on the anniversary of
their deaths:

Lighting the Memorial Candle: (If you wish to take part in the ceremony,
take a candle (see #1) light it from another candle and push the candle
into the sand.)

1. We recommend that you say the following before lighting the candle.
If you prefer, as an alternative, simply speak from the heart.
0 God, grant us strength as we mourn the loss of ______. We will always
have cherished memories of him/her or them. Bless our family with light
and peace. May _____ memory continue to serve as a blessing and an
inspiration to all who knew and loved him/her or them.
2. Light the candle.
3. Then say the following:
His/her or their memory is a blessing.
4. Kaddish---(This is another version that you could say each sabbath,
too, or anytime) let the glory of God be extolled, let God's great name
be hallowed. In the world whose creation God willed. May God's
sovereignty soon prevail, in  our own day, our own lives, and life of
all Israel, and let us say. Amen. let God* s great name be blessed
forever and ever. Let the name of God be glorified, exalted, and
honored, though God is beyond all praises, songs, and adorations that we
can utter, and let us say. Amen. For us and for all Israel, may the
blessing of peace and the promise  of life come true, and let us say,
Amen. May God who causes peace to reign in the high heavens, let peace
descend on us, on all Israel, and all the world, and let us say. Amen.

God of compassion, grant perfect peace in Your sheltering Presence,
among the holy and the pure who shine in the brightness of the
firmament, to the soul of our dear ones who have gone to sleep to await
the coming of the Messiah and resurrection of life everlasting. May God
be their inheritance and may they rest in peace. And let us answer,
Amen.

Cheryle's prayer: Dear Lord of the Universe, we thank you for the heart
of this loved one who has reached out to you to soar to the heights of
strength under your sheltering wing. He is precious to you, and we thank
you for him. Lord, guard his heart ever in your ways, and come soon,
Mashiach, so that he and his loved ones may rejoice together in the Olam
Haba together. Always draw him close and give him the peace that only
you can bring to one at this time. In the  name of Yeshua HaMashiach we
pray. Amen.

I don't know where you live but I have found a book called A Guide to
Life: Jewish Laws and Customs of Mourning by Rabbi Tzvi Rabinowicz. It
can be found at most Barnes and Nobles or other book stores in the
Jewish section. It is published by Jason Aronson, Inc. 230 Livingston
Street, Northvaies, NJ 07647 and the ISBN number is: 1-56821-143-0.
There is an excellent bibliography in the back of the book, too.

Again  our condolences and we know that HE is with you. I will be in
touch with other things as I find them.

Shalom Alecheim--Cheryle Holeman

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