HHMI Newsgroup Archives
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, parole officer's report, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME_________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH____________
2. HEIGHT:__________ WEIGHT:__________ I.Q. _________ G.P.A.________
3. SOCIAL SECURITY#___________________
DRIVER*S LICENSE # ___________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK ________________________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS_____________________CITY/STATE_________ZIP_______
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?_________________
7. Number of years parents married: ____________
8. Do you own a van?_____ A truck with oversized tires?____ A waterbed?____
9. In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
__________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
10. In 50 words or less, what does DON*T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
12. Church you attend? ________________________ How often?___________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor?
________________________________________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely - all answers are
confidential ( That means I won*t tell anyone-ever-promise).
A. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is
.....________________________________________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is
...._________________
C. A woman*s place is in the .... ________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
....__________
E. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is
...._____________
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up_______________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
__________________________________________ Signature (that means sign your name) Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write . If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might watch your back).